Before I get to my last bit of testimony sharing, I wanted to write up a quick update about the adoption. We (Wife and I) are now waiting for the governments to do their piece. The Liberian and US governments have or will be receiving our applications and paperwork, woohoo! The finances piece of this adoption are falling into place, Thank You Lord. An unexpected grant (THANK YOU!!!!!) as well as other things here and there are making this adoption possible. God is so awesome when He tells you something, He means it. Amazing and Humbling.---------------------
Wife has wanted a large family forever. I knew this getting into the relationship. What I also knew was: I was going to change that desire in her. I didn't want kids at all. We had Uno and I instantly had a love for someone that isn't even human, so at that point, I only wanted 1 child. 2 and 1/2 years later we had Dos and again I had that indescribable love for him. At this point I was content having maybe a half child more and a dog so we could the All-American family. With Wife having life threatening pregnancies, we followed the doctors advice and made it 97% probable that we wouldn't have anymore children naturally.
After Dos was born, Wife started the serious talk about adoption. I was seriously not listening :). I wanted nothing to do with it, I liked our life, I liked having stuff and I liked serving me. I wasn't living for God yet and I wasn't putting my all into my marriage. Life for us was going as good as it could considering 1 of us was dedicating her life to Jesus and another was dedicating His life to his own selfishness.
Years would go by before adoption became a reality. Wife and I would talk about it, attempt to bargain things for adoption ("Hey...when I get my truck we can adopt"...."When I have a big screen tv....you can adopt"), but in the end I still wouldn't budge on my desire to keep us a family of 4. It boiled down to I wasn't appreciating her amazing ability at being a mom, I wasn't being man enough to see God talking to us through her and I wasn't loving her enough to stop being so selfish.
As the years passed and I finally said to God YES I am living for you alone, my heart changed as well. I can't explain it except that God was at full work inside me. Wife and I worked through some amazing junk and finally, after all of our "negotiations", "discussions" and her deep prayers, I gave in. I didn't give in to her and her wants...I gave in to God pushing me to listen to him and understand: It's not all about you.
Having that talk with Wife, saying yes...lets adopt, felt like I was saying Yes to God and listening to His direction for our life. It hurts my man pride to say Wife heard God years before I even tried to listen, but that's not the point (I guess :) ). So we adopted. It wasn't an easy process. It took a failed placement of 2 little ones and numerous situations that seemed to be "the child for us" to only have them fall through. God made sure I understood that just because I heard His direction, it was still all in His hands and He was going to mold us and shape us both into the parents He wanted.
February of 2006, we finally brought home our 2 youngest daughters. And the love I have for the biological kids is there for them as well. It took time and adjustment but it's there and I can't imagine life without them. I didn't think a family of 6 was going to be as much fun as a family of 4...but as usual I was wrong :)
One Sunday in December of 2005, I went to church for the first time alone. Wife and the kids were sick, but I felt a need to go, which was a first for me. I was saved but still trying to find my way. At the beginning of the service, our pastor got up and starting talking about the unreached of the world. He talked about the millions who haven't had a chance to understand who Jesus is and what He has done for us. He talked for about 10 minutes or so about this, and I could feel God stirring in me. This was the first time since surrendering my life, that God really grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me to the core. I was sweating, shaking and confused for that whole service. Afterwards I went to talk to the pastor about how I could help or what I could do. He wrote down the name of the Missions director, who happened to work 4 offices down from me at the same company!!!!
This started a life changing journey. I ended up on the European Mission team at our church. In October God afforded me the opportunity to go on a mission trip to Romania. While gearing up for that trip, a team to go to Liberia was being formed. I felt that pull from God to put my name on the sign up sheet. I knew I wouldn't get chosen since I was getting ready for a trip to Romania. Again...I was wrong. I interviewed and God showed his sense of humor by putting me on that team as well. In a 3 month period I'd spend 10 days in Romania and 10 days in Liberia.
Romania was a life changing adventure. It opened my eyes to the ways of life in other parts of the world. It was my first trip out of the country and God showed me what he wanted me to do for life. I've been called by God to share Him with all I meet, be it in Romania or my home town. He showed me that God is God everywhere and it doesn't matter what language you speak or what you pray about, He is God.
Liberia was a trip that brought us to see the realities of civil war and economical hardships. God again showed himself through these people. The love He has for them is so clear by their desire to give Him all the glory for all they do have. Being there also opened my eyes to the needs they have and how much we do have in this country.
So when Wife started talking adoption again...it didn't take 5 years for me to understand what needed to be done. God brought me to Liberia for a reason. He opened my eyes and heart to those in need. It made perfect sense when we prayed about adoption again, that we were drawn to Liberia. As most of you know, we'll be adopting 3 kids this year from Liberia. I can't wait to get them home and start the process of being a family of 9!
God is so amazing and good. I've said it before and I'll say it again, if he can change me....ANYONE can be saved and enjoy the life of a relationship with Him. It isn't always easy...especially with those you know from your past life, who question and doubt who you are. But it doesn't matter...All that matters is serving our King and Lord, Jesus Christ.
God is Good!
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