Wife and I were married on June 26th, 1999, but not before enduring a lot of past issues I brought into the relationship. Anger and depression were the focus of my life, until Wife got pregnant in 1998. During that pregnancy, she almost died (as did the 26 week fetus, later known as Uno!) due to complications. It’s at this time that the reality of something else was at play in this world. I want to say I hit my knees and prayed, but I didn't. But it was the first time I remember thinking, IF there is a God, I hope he's working up there to fix this.
After being married for 2 years or so, we moved out of our first apartment together into our first house. It was about this time that Wife started to go to church with her brother and fully gave her life over to Jesus. As she started to grow in her relationship with God, she made sure to go every Sunday taking Uno with her. I used staying home with our young son as my excuse for not going. But in reality, I was just totally uninterested in the whole church scene. I wasn't religious...and those words would come back to slap me in the face a few short years later.
After being married for 2 years or so, we moved out of our first apartment together into our first house. It was about this time that Wife started to go to church with her brother and fully gave her life over to Jesus. As she started to grow in her relationship with God, she made sure to go every Sunday taking Uno with her. I used staying home with our young son as my excuse for not going. But in reality, I was just totally uninterested in the whole church scene. I wasn't religious...and those words would come back to slap me in the face a few short years later.
In January 2002, my father called me and told me my mother was dead. She was living with my sister and her mother in a double wide up in Maine and she was found face first on the floor. What an enormous kick in the stomach. Even though she said she wasn't drinking, I knew she was an alcoholic. I just had no idea she was close to dying because of it. We are told she had an ammonia burst in her brain, due to cirrhosis of the liver. Cleaning out her home, we found empty bottles under her bed. That totally broke my heart. She and I had so much unresolved conflict and situations. Mostly around her drinking and me needing to be away from that and not putting my young family into situations to be around it. She thought I didn't love her anymore and didn't want her to know my children. How so far from the truth. I was so mad at her for just up and dying on us without working with me to fix it all. It's my prayer now that she did know Jesus and she is worshipping our king. I know our "issues" are resolved now and I just pray I can have time to worship with her someday.
I hated church. I hated the awkwardness of it, I hated the staleness of it. I hated the hugging and touching. I hated the singing. I would sweat and feel sick and uncomfortable. It didn't help that for the most part, the only churches I ever set foot in were Catholic. (sweet depression!) I stayed home while Wife went to church every week. She didn't push me, but she made sure I knew she didn't approve.
As time went on, the onslaught from these "Bible Thumpers" (by bible thumpers I mean my wife and her brother) happened more often. Wife and I would "discuss" the bible and I'd have every reason in the world why it was fake. One time in particular that stands out to me, was a night at the dining room table. It was me, Wife and Andy (her brother) and we would just go back and forth...it was an amazing debate. I'd get so upset inside, but still push forward with my thoughts and views. I remember saying so many bad things about the stories, the realness of the bible and about Mary and Joseph (I still apologize Lord for those thoughts.).
As Dos (our son) got to an age where I couldn't use him as my "reason" for staying home, as well as Uno being older and questioning why I wasn't going with them, I finally had to go to church. Uno is the most amazing little girl and is the biggest reason I am the slave to Christ I am. If she wasn't so in touch with God at such a young age and wasn't so concerned over me not going, I don't know if I would have gone at all.
CrossWay church in Nashua New Hampshire is where I first heard about Jesus in a church setting. I had heard about Him all the time from my wife and her brother, but when I would be in a church, I never paid any attention. This church though, is where my curiosity was peeked. I wasn’t looking to become “religious” (that word again), so I just listened and in doing so I started to become interested. The pastor (Ron) at that church was the first “religious”(that word just keeps following me) person I had seen that was what I would have considered normal. This guy would talk about sports and his kids and the normal parts of life. It was all about Jesus, but he was so open with his human qualities. I didn’t think much of it then, but I think about that a lot when I look back on my journey to find Christ. I give so much credit to certain people (and 1 God), but this one pastor up in Nashua NH has no idea how much he influenced me and my thoughts/impressions of Christianity.
As time went on, the onslaught from these "Bible Thumpers" (by bible thumpers I mean my wife and her brother) happened more often. Wife and I would "discuss" the bible and I'd have every reason in the world why it was fake. One time in particular that stands out to me, was a night at the dining room table. It was me, Wife and Andy (her brother) and we would just go back and forth...it was an amazing debate. I'd get so upset inside, but still push forward with my thoughts and views. I remember saying so many bad things about the stories, the realness of the bible and about Mary and Joseph (I still apologize Lord for those thoughts.).
As Dos (our son) got to an age where I couldn't use him as my "reason" for staying home, as well as Uno being older and questioning why I wasn't going with them, I finally had to go to church. Uno is the most amazing little girl and is the biggest reason I am the slave to Christ I am. If she wasn't so in touch with God at such a young age and wasn't so concerned over me not going, I don't know if I would have gone at all.
CrossWay church in Nashua New Hampshire is where I first heard about Jesus in a church setting. I had heard about Him all the time from my wife and her brother, but when I would be in a church, I never paid any attention. This church though, is where my curiosity was peeked. I wasn’t looking to become “religious” (that word again), so I just listened and in doing so I started to become interested. The pastor (Ron) at that church was the first “religious”(that word just keeps following me) person I had seen that was what I would have considered normal. This guy would talk about sports and his kids and the normal parts of life. It was all about Jesus, but he was so open with his human qualities. I didn’t think much of it then, but I think about that a lot when I look back on my journey to find Christ. I give so much credit to certain people (and 1 God), but this one pastor up in Nashua NH has no idea how much he influenced me and my thoughts/impressions of Christianity.
I'd like to say it was here I gave it all to God...but I was and still am a stubborn little boy. I'd still hang out at church quietly, arms folded and not very personable. BUT, the seed was planted....
--GOD'S AWESOMENESS DURING THESE TIMES--
Wife didn't die. How understated is that. She was given her last rights by the priest in that hospital when she was in preterm labor with Uno. She didn't die and neither did Uno. Wife and I sinned by having premarital sex, yet Our God blessed us with an amazing daughter who was instrumental in bringing Wife and I to Him. Words can't even begin to describe the awe I feel when I think about this.
--GOD'S AWESOMENESS DURING THESE TIMES--
Wife didn't die. How understated is that. She was given her last rights by the priest in that hospital when she was in preterm labor with Uno. She didn't die and neither did Uno. Wife and I sinned by having premarital sex, yet Our God blessed us with an amazing daughter who was instrumental in bringing Wife and I to Him. Words can't even begin to describe the awe I feel when I think about this.
When my mother passed away, I was so absolutely angry with her. What a dark time. It was a perfect opportunity for Satan to take control of me. I wasn't ready to hear Jesus...but He was there to guide me through those issues. Through my amazing wife and children, God more than gave me a reason to continue trying to be the "good person" I always thought I was. But He knew...He knew I would come to Him a broken man and turn all I have in this world over to Him.
God also knew what it was going to take to get me open my eyes to Him. He put Wife and I into a church that showed the truths about Him. Had He not put us in CrossWay Church but rather some dry church or another catholic church, I know I would have quit. But instead we were sitting in a seat (not a pew) and listened to this Pastor talk about football and his children and wife. God uses all things of this world, to remove us from this world. (if that makes sense)
Final part tomorrow.
God is Good!
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