Settling In...

(too bad too it was a good picture of the fam)
(FYI...getting 8 people to sit and all smile and look at the same time at the camera....impossible!)

Wow...What a whirlwind the past few weeks have been. I think back to just one week ago and it's mind boggling to me that I was in Africa. A week ago I was ripping my hair out (I know I don't have hair, funny) with the loudness and whining of 5 kids and a baby (The Stewarts kids plus ours). A week ago I was missing my family in America, who was waiting for me to come home and start the next phase of the family. Today I'm sitting in my recliner, typing away on normal speed internet access, listening to the noise and loudness of the newly formed household.

The kids are all adjusting as well as they possibly can be. I'm actually shocked and amazed at how well everyone is getting along. After being in that African hotel room and listening to the constant cries of Cinco, the non stop calls for "beeesket" (Liberian for cookie or cracker), wiping poo-poo hiney's 4 or 5 times a day, I was so nervous about how this all was going to work out. But God is glorious. It's been pretty fun here. Kids playing, talking, laughing. Mom and Dad finding time for everyone, even though it seems like someone is always being forgotten or lost in the crowd. Cinco hasn't whined as much, heck hardly at all. Although he is still a stinking poop factory. Tres is so much more comfortable now that we are in "America". She has taken to having her room with Uno, her dolls and a virtual toy store of toys to goof off with. She hasn't had one of her wailing fits since being home. and Siete...Well he's still the man. He's learned that crying is the way to get what you want in the U.S.A! And that food is here all the time and his mouth is open all the time, what a perfect marriage.

At dinner last night, I'm looking at these 7 kids and it hit me that, there are 7 freaking kids at my table!!! Good grief. Each one has their own little personality and future ahead of them. It's going to be interesting to see how it all plays out and what the new routines will be like and which kids gravitate towards each other. We have the momma wanna be in Uno, the quiet yet confident singer in Tres, the human tornado in Cinco, the proud big brother in Dos, the confused yet goofy Sies, the want to be 9, but still only 4 year old Quatro and then the "I'm the man...feed me" Siete. How amazing is this? How cluttered and loud and congested is this? How Awesome!!

God is so merciful and gives us all we need to make it through the challenges of this life. He's given us the means to take in 7 children. He's given us the patience to get through the days of stress here at home as well as in Africa. He's blessed Wife and I with a love for each other that is like no other. He's blessed us with an instant desire to love these 7 kids, which is a miracle for me, because frankly...I do not like kids, toddlers especially. (As 3 of them are in the playroom yelling at each other and fighting over toys!).

And so the chaos of our life will now continue. It's going to be a fun, interesting, stressful, rewarding, tiring,, loving and funny time. But most importantly, I pray it's a time/life of God's blessing's on these kids. All are hand picked by God to be a part of this family, in order to bring more people to His family.

God is so Good!

We Just Don't Sit Still

So adoption isn't big enough for us...neither is a new (large) vehicle...and having new job responsibilities isn't quite enough...now we are looking at houses. One thing that can't be said for us...we are idle. Not sure it's healthy or not...but it works for us :)

Found the most awesome house ever...right out of New England. We put an offer in and waited for a week for the owner get pricing on a new roof. (our contingency was it needed a new roof, not the old wood shingle roof it has). He took a week to find any estimates at all, and in the mean time got a better offer than ours. Can't say I blame him for taking the other offer: More money, Earlier closing and No contingencies. Felt like a kick in the stomach. I pouted and acted like a 3 year old for about 1/2 a day or so.

But we pulled up our big boy and big girl pants...accepted our God given time out...wiped our alligator tears and blew our nose...and are praying over the next few houses we are going to see. We don't really want to move so much, we love our house and pool. But, if we can find that perfect house with a yard for the kids to play in (all 7 of them)...then that will be a little more comfortable.

What I love about my new life in Christ though...is as I grow more in my walk with Him...things like losing a house to a higher bid, isn't as important as it once would have been. Like I said I pouted and got upset, but it went away pretty quickly when I had my quiet time with Him. He has full control of everything else in our lives and He has our better interest in mind. I think it's OK to be upset about silly things as long as it doesn't consume your life. (That's not backed by anything biblical, just my opinion..which could be totally wrong...I like to try and justify myself!)

So if moving is what He wants from us...we'll be moving.

The adoption stuff is still going without too many issues...Thank You Jesus! We are at the mercy now of the Liberian and US governments. For an adoption timeline of events, check out Emily's blog.

Red Sox opening day is right around the corner. In a couple of weeks, I'll be able to see them play in person for the first time in 2 years. I'll be in Dallas to see them play the Rangers...Like a little boy I'm excited out of my skin. Seriously, after God and my beautiful wife and kids...I absolutely LOVE the Red Sox. They were/are always there, year in and year out. They were my refuge when I had nothing else in life growing up. (Does that sound absolutely pathetic after I read it back? Actually yes it did...but it's how I really feel, so oh well!)

As Always: God Is Good!!!

Testimony - A New Life

Wife and I move alot. We are currently in our 4th house in 6 years. In November of 2003 we moved to Oxford Massachusetts and started going to CrossPoint church. I was so uncomfortable looking for a new church. And when I say I was uncomfortable looking for a new church, I mean I was uncomfortable with Wife looking for a new church. I took no interest in finding one. As much as god was starting to stir in me, I was ready to drop this whole "church" thing and not go anymore. BUT, low and behold she found a church similar to CrossWay in our last town. So we went, some of us more begrudgingly then others.

This was the first taste of God showing is humor and power. He moved us from a place I was comfortable being one of the faces in the crowd, to Touchy/Feely Central. The pastor there, Jeff...he freaked me out to no end. He's a hyper, huggy, jumping up and down, outwardly a Jesus Freak. Here I am, just barely getting comfortable with the idea of church, and now this guy would tell me he loves me, hug me, ask about my family and work. In a word - "Nut Job". (ok that's 2 words, but you get the point). I was ready to quit but once again, Uno and now Dos kept me going. I never want to disappoint my kids and wife. I have many times, probably will a few more times, but I knew I wouldn't have been a disappointment to them if I kept going, even if my heart wasn't fully in it.

Jeff turned out to be one of the key reasons I accepted Jesus. All that freaked out nonsense turned into a real deep respect. I still never showed I was into all the stuff the church was doing, but every Sunday we would be there and I would be soaking it all in. We stayed at that church for just about 2 years until we moved (again). I had accepted a job in Mayberry and we were moving out of New England for the first time.

About that job in Marberry: A Divine Move by God. Wife and I couldn't afford the bills and cost of living where we were. In September or October of 2004, I started to look for a new job. I wanted to work with one software so that's all I did my job searches on. Fast forward to March of 05, with no real leads on a job. I gave in and did 1 search for the software I did not want to work with anymore, applied to 2 of the jobs I found. A week later Wife and I are on the plane to Mayberry to interview for the job I eventually took.

As we prepared to move to Mayberry, we were cleaning out our house for the move. I brought a bunch of donation items over to the church and I had a short, but life changing talk with Jeff. I apologized to him for never being the religious type and for always being so quiet and non responsive to him and the church. He talked to me for a little while and told me, and these words will stay with me forever, “It’s not how religious you are, it’s how your relationship with Him is”. (to many, this may be the most "whatever" statement, or full of so much common sense, but for me then and even now, it was like someone took the blindfold off.

Those words stuck with me as I drove by myself to Mayberry, to start my new job. Wife and the kids would meet me down there a few weeks later. That 4 day drive down from Massachusetts to Texas ended up being me and God having a 4 day conversation. I gave my life to Jesus on that trip. Each night in whatever hotel I was staying in, I would be reading something from the bible, trying to figure out what I just accepted. I'd end up thinking about how real Ron was. I'd think about the passion Jeff portrayed. I'd think about how Andy and Wife changed, but didn't change (if that makes sense). I'd pray about Jesus up on that cross. It was an amazing 4 days. I want to say it was totally quiet and solemn, but I had Metallica and Korn playing in the background. :) It's was and still is a life long process!

Life didn’t change too dramatically for me right away. I was more comfortable going to church. I actually looked forward to finding a church with Wife , instead of her finding it and I just tag along. In the 2 years or so that I've been focusing on Jesus, Wife and my lives have changes so much. We've adopted 2 little girls. I've cleaned out my closet with my wife and God saved a marriage. I've been on a few mission trips. We are adopting again :).

Those are all nice and fine...but the most important thing I see that has happened is Wife and I are trying to make decisions for God and not for us. We focus on God and our family. Wife pretty much always has focused on the family...I was so focused on me. God has really moved me to clean up my act. And while I'm still a sinner (aren't we all)...my eyes are focused up and not around.

--GOD'S AWESOMENESS DURING THESE TIMES--

Did you read that I spent 4 days talking to him :) How amazing is that? God picked me and my family up from Massachusetts and all the distractions that were pulling us away from Him (or in my case, the distractions keeping me from Him) and He plopped us down in the middle of nowhere. Literally...We are about 5 hours away from any major cities. But He knew, and we understand that this is what was needed.

I pray that this story will inspire someone who isn't in a relationship with Jesus to see: If God can save a sorry, selfish, self serving person like me, He more than wants to have that intimate 1 on 1 relationship with you. And for those who have fallen away...No matter what you may have done, not done, how quiet it may be or how noisy it seems...He's still there and he's waiting for you to come back home.

My last post about my testimony will be directly related to missions and adoption.

God is Good!

Testimony - Transformation Begins

Wife and I were married on June 26th, 1999, but not before enduring a lot of past issues I brought into the relationship. Anger and depression were the focus of my life, until Wife got pregnant in 1998. During that pregnancy, she almost died (as did the 26 week fetus, later known as Uno!) due to complications. It’s at this time that the reality of something else was at play in this world. I want to say I hit my knees and prayed, but I didn't. But it was the first time I remember thinking, IF there is a God, I hope he's working up there to fix this.

After being married for 2 years or so, we moved out of our first apartment together into our first house. It was about this time that Wife started to go to church with her brother and fully gave her life over to Jesus. As she started to grow in her relationship with God, she made sure to go every Sunday taking Uno with her. I used staying home with our young son as my excuse for not going. But in reality, I was just totally uninterested in the whole church scene. I wasn't religious...and those words would come back to slap me in the face a few short years later.

In January 2002, my father called me and told me my mother was dead. She was living with my sister and her mother in a double wide up in Maine and she was found face first on the floor. What an enormous kick in the stomach. Even though she said she wasn't drinking, I knew she was an alcoholic. I just had no idea she was close to dying because of it. We are told she had an ammonia burst in her brain, due to cirrhosis of the liver. Cleaning out her home, we found empty bottles under her bed. That totally broke my heart. She and I had so much unresolved conflict and situations. Mostly around her drinking and me needing to be away from that and not putting my young family into situations to be around it. She thought I didn't love her anymore and didn't want her to know my children. How so far from the truth. I was so mad at her for just up and dying on us without working with me to fix it all. It's my prayer now that she did know Jesus and she is worshipping our king. I know our "issues" are resolved now and I just pray I can have time to worship with her someday.

I hated church. I hated the awkwardness of it, I hated the staleness of it. I hated the hugging and touching. I hated the singing. I would sweat and feel sick and uncomfortable. It didn't help that for the most part, the only churches I ever set foot in were Catholic. (sweet depression!) I stayed home while Wife went to church every week. She didn't push me, but she made sure I knew she didn't approve.

As time went on, the onslaught from these "Bible Thumpers" (by bible thumpers I mean my wife and her brother) happened more often. Wife and I would "discuss" the bible and I'd have every reason in the world why it was fake. One time in particular that stands out to me, was a night at the dining room table. It was me, Wife and Andy (her brother) and we would just go back and forth...it was an amazing debate. I'd get so upset inside, but still push forward with my thoughts and views. I remember saying so many bad things about the stories, the realness of the bible and about Mary and Joseph (I still apologize Lord for those thoughts.).

As Dos (our son) got to an age where I couldn't use him as my "reason" for staying home, as well as Uno being older and questioning why I wasn't going with them, I finally had to go to church. Uno is the most amazing little girl and is the biggest reason I am the slave to Christ I am. If she wasn't so in touch with God at such a young age and wasn't so concerned over me not going, I don't know if I would have gone at all.

CrossWay church in Nashua New Hampshire is where I first heard about Jesus in a church setting. I had heard about Him all the time from my wife and her brother, but when I would be in a church, I never paid any attention. This church though, is where my curiosity was peeked. I wasn’t looking to become “religious” (that word again), so I just listened and in doing so I started to become interested. The pastor (Ron) at that church was the first “religious”(that word just keeps following me) person I had seen that was what I would have considered normal. This guy would talk about sports and his kids and the normal parts of life. It was all about Jesus, but he was so open with his human qualities. I didn’t think much of it then, but I think about that a lot when I look back on my journey to find Christ. I give so much credit to certain people (and 1 God), but this one pastor up in Nashua NH has no idea how much he influenced me and my thoughts/impressions of Christianity.

I'd like to say it was here I gave it all to God...but I was and still am a stubborn little boy. I'd still hang out at church quietly, arms folded and not very personable. BUT, the seed was planted....

--GOD'S AWESOMENESS DURING THESE TIMES--
Wife didn't die. How understated is that. She was given her last rights by the priest in that hospital when she was in preterm labor with Uno. She didn't die and neither did Uno. Wife and I sinned by having premarital sex, yet Our God blessed us with an amazing daughter who was instrumental in bringing Wife and I to Him. Words can't even begin to describe the awe I feel when I think about this.

When my mother passed away, I was so absolutely angry with her. What a dark time. It was a perfect opportunity for Satan to take control of me. I wasn't ready to hear Jesus...but He was there to guide me through those issues. Through my amazing wife and children, God more than gave me a reason to continue trying to be the "good person" I always thought I was. But He knew...He knew I would come to Him a broken man and turn all I have in this world over to Him.

God also knew what it was going to take to get me open my eyes to Him. He put Wife and I into a church that showed the truths about Him. Had He not put us in CrossWay Church but rather some dry church or another catholic church, I know I would have quit. But instead we were sitting in a seat (not a pew) and listened to this Pastor talk about football and his children and wife. God uses all things of this world, to remove us from this world. (if that makes sense)

Final part tomorrow.

God is Good!

Can You Stop the Power of...

THE YAWN!!!

I defy you to look at these pictures, and NOT yawn. It can't be done! (And if you do succeed, you need to tell me, so I can call you the dirty liar you are!) Why the heck is that? I did some research and no one really has a good theory as to why we yawn when we see others yawning. It always made me giggle when I took the train to work, you'd see it like, well like a train of people yawning. One starts and it would go on for like 10 or 15 people.

---

We had the home study last night, another step in the process of bringing another baby home. I'll be honest, I despise that part of the process. The entire growing up story has to come out and regardless if I'm 30 or 130 it'll still suck having to talk about my youth. God's awesome in how he used all the junk to mold me into who I am, but there are still feelings in there about my family.

But really who doesn't have something from childhood of their family that they don't cringe about. I guess it comes down to the fact that every generation has a chance to break the cycle of family junkness. This isn't to say you won't start a new cycle of something odd or bizarre. I just mean, for me personally its a chance to raise children without the influence of drugs/alcohol/pornography/verbal or physical abuse. God's so cool to give me the opportunity to right my families wrongs, while still giving me room to make my own mistakes as a parent.

Well this episode of Dr. Phil has been brought to you by Cyber Depends....for those who have diarrhea of the blog

FYI: I have decided, if I ever change my name, it's totally going to be "Awesome". I just want to introduce myself: "Hi, I'm Awesome"

God is Good!

Video of Our New Daughters

Galatians 4:4-5 - But when the fullness of the time came, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, burn under the Law, so that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.

I've talked about my thoughts about adoption and how it is a living picture of our relationship with God, through the sacrifice of Jesus. I found the above bit of scripture while having some quiet time this week. These few verses again, solidified in me, that we have nothing if Jesus did not come and die for our sins. We are adopted into His kingdom through the sacrifice He made for us.

We have been thinking about adoption, again. Anyone who knows me, knows I drop my head, I roll my eyes, I groan and I sigh whenever Wife talks about adoption. But I can't deny the fact that, through Wife's heart for children and her desire to have a large family, God has opened my heart to more kids. I am beyond amazed by how God can change a mans heart, but I can attest he has changed mine.

That being said, we'll be updating the home study, filing the paper work and praying over babies and situations. I have absolutely no idea how in the world we will pay for it, find room for him or her, have room in our vehicle to transport the family. I just know it feels right and if adopting is meant to be, Our savior will figure all that out and let me know about it when the time is right. To me it sounds like such a christian cliche, but I feel like we are taking a huge leap of faith. All I know is He is telling my heart, don't let him or her spend another night alone.

He's opened my eyes to the happiness a family brings to all of it's members. He's also shown me the loneliness and sadness of being alone. He's shown me this in my personal life, but more so through my time at Recas Orphanage in Romania and the Greater Love Children's Home in Liberia. God has blessed me with decent money, shelter, an amazing wife and family, eternal salvation and a fire to spread his word and love to all who will listen. How can I turn my back on a little one, when I have the means to open my heart to him or her.

None of this sounds like anything I have ever said. :) And no, I'm not drunk.
God is Good!

Random Happenings...

• You ever feel pulled in different directions...but no one is really pulling? I'm at that point the last few days. Family, Church, Missions, Career...good grief. My life is dedicated to my family, but if God's will were to allow me to go on every trip available, I would...and but that isn't a reality. Or is it God?
• Broccoli: Great FOR me....Horrendous for those AROUND me.
• Football Playoffs start this weekend. New England and New Orleans is my Super Bowl prediction. Whats yours?
• The annual Girl Scout cookie sales have started. Wife is responsible for ordering all the cookies that the girls in Alex's troop sells. That's chaotic but fun. Especially the extra boxes of cookies!!!
• Have you ever stopped and really considered the spiritual battle that is happening around us? It's real people, it's pretty scary and it's not going away until Jesus returns. (this may be a blog topic of its own someday)
• The countdown is on for me to shave. I have been growing my hair, in support of my missionary brother Mike. He went to Liberia with us and then went on to Uganda and Sudan. He hasn't shaved the whole time he has been gone and to support him, I've done the same. I haven't had hair on my head for about 4 or 5 years. I also have never had a beard before. He arrives home on Thursday at about 9:30 or so. At approx. 11PM that night I will be clean shaven again. Sweet unhairy bliss.
• Will I be making another video of my kids soon? Yes.
• Will I be making another video montage soon, this time from the Romania trip? Ah, yea...duh.
• Taking down the outside Christmas lights this weekend. Christmas is officially over...sad. But I encourage you to keep that "holiday" feeling all year long. We don't need a holiday to celebrate Jesus people...really we don't.

Thats all I got for now....be on the look out for more ramblings and videos.

God is Good!

New Years Eve - Resolutions

Jeez yea right, I don't make resolutions. When people ask I tell them I'm going to quit smoking or quit drinking. See that's the funny part, I don't do either. Man I'm a laugh riot. For 2007 I am going to make some goals, but I will just go with the flow of the life God provides. My goals for my life (not just this year):

1. To continue to grow in my relationship with Jesus


2. Lead, protect and provide for my family


3. Bring the weight down a bit


4. Spread the love, humor and word of our Lord


5. Continue to live as pure a life as a human can. Jesus is the only way I will have the strength to live the life HE calls me to live.

Another note: If you haven't seen Hotel Rwanda, go rent it. I will never understand the way humans think and live. Yet history proves to us, the we humans cannot do it the right way without a deep and true relationship with our God. Adolph Hitler, Slobodan Milošević, Nicolae Ceauşescu, Saddam Hussein, the Rwandan Genocide. And these are just the famous ones.

One of my closest friends, who is a police officer back home in Massachusetts, and has seen the effects of perverts attacks on children, has asked me a few times "How does your God allow these things to happen". I think of this question whenever I see a movie like Hotel Rwanda or documentaries on most African countries, or hear Pastor Eugen from Romania talk about the days of communism. How does our Lord allow these crazy acts of violence and inhumanity happen.

My only reply can be, until God opens my eyes to a better answer: That Matthew 22 teaches us of the Great Commandment. Matthew 22:37-40 says "'37Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' 40All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

If these people had a true, deep and loving relationship with Jesus, then the convictions they would have in their lives would NOT be focused on their thoughts and feelings and desires, but rather Gods. Jesus Christ does NOT teach to love based on race or sex or social status. Jesus teaches us to love HIM First and Foremost, then love everyone else as you love yourself. Not once does he teach genocide, sexual abuse, murder, theft, torture.

Long description for me to say to those who question God's authority: If everyone lived their life for God, these atrocities may not have happened. But remember from every grossness comes beauty. That is God's responds to free will. HE lets us make decisions, but brings out his Glory from the decisions we make without his command.

Long post this morning...sorry :) Please, Please, Please be safe tonight. Designated Drivers aren't just a silly commercial, they are life savers, so use them....Please.

Happy New Year!

Christmas Eve 2006 - Will I Remember...?

It's almost 7PM on Christmas eve and I got to thinking about 10 or 20 years from now. Will I remember Christmas 2006? Will I remember Quatro and Seis's first Christmas as members of our family? The excitement of leaving cookies and milk for Santa? Quatro yelling to Uno and Dos that the cookies are NOT FOR THEM!!! :) Or Quatro running around hugging everyone yelling Merry Christmas, showing more loving emotions to us then she has ever done? Or Seis getting upset that she didn't get the Dora slippers we got Quatro instead of the Zoe's slippers we got her? (Gotta love being 2 and 3) Or how about Dos and Uno singing the 12 days of christmas in only a way Dos and Uno can? These are the memories I never want to forget. But it all goes by so fast...

How about you...will you remember Christmas 2006? Will you remember the important details that make times like Christmas so memorable? Wherever you are this Christmas, I hope that you will take a few moments to enjoy all that is happening around you...the sights, the smells, the conversations, the foods, the gifts, the friendships and the family.

How about after Christmas? Will we all take time to reflect, only in real time? Reflection doesn't have to happen after something happens. We can "reflect" as we live our lives. Making cookies together, playing at the park, bringing your kids to school....incredible memories happen everyday, yet they seem to fade away so quickly.

I'll be honest I don't know where that all came from, but I felt it important enough to write down. I hope this helps you as well as helps me remember to enjoy all the blessings God's given us. It's so important to embrace our blessings as they happen as well as after we have received them.

Merry Christmas!!!

Family Officially Larger!!

Well yesterday (Dec 18th) we officially adopted the girls. We are now a family of 6! What a relief to no longer have to worry about birth parents or social workers coming around. Of course this also means 2 more college tuitions to save for...doh! :) And now the search begins for a brother or 2 for Dos and the girls. Although Dos did tell us he felt so sad for the orphans of the world, cried about it, talked about how he wants to help so bad and how sad it is, yet when we asked if he would share his room with an orphan if one were to come live with us, he said with a straight face...there isn't enough room in here. Gotta love being 6.

Anyone praying over and contemplating adoption, I will say this: It took me forever to accept adoption as a way to increase our family. The fear of not being able to love the adopted children, the thought of being able to afford it, questioning my own parenting skills with someone "elses" child...(all which turned out to be a bunch of hooey!) In adoption you not only give kids a home and family, you are living out a true representation of our relationship with Jesus Christ.

Ephesians 1:3-6
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved.

When you take a child into your home to raise, love, provide for and call yours forever....this is exactly what Jesus has done for everyone of us. He loves us, He provides for us and He calls us HIS forever...and this was all done because God CHOSE to.

God is Good!