Holy 409

Aaaahhhh...to be so new to it all. It's happened a few times now, I read something or learn something new at church and it hits me like a ton of bricks. My eyes are opened and I feel like a new creature in God again. This happened a few weeks ago as our pastor taught through Psalm 51. I hear it, I feel it and I start praying it and God just fires me up with his amazing lovingkindness. I then run to people and tell them all about it and how amazing it is and how it can too change your life. Most people down here are life long Christians and they give me a look like "Boy...you ain't from 'round these parts are ya?"

Have you ever taken time to read through Psalm 51 ? If not I recommend you sit down for an hour or so, read through it, pray it out loud to God. He teaches us to pray back to Him His word and Psalm 51 is a perfect piece of wisdom to pray right back to Him. I've asked God to take out the Holy 409 and clean me even more on the inside.

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A whirlwind of family times came to a close on Monday. During the last week in June we had my father in law and his wife in town for 5 days. It was great to sit and talk with them at night and just share our new family with them. It's always a treat for me to get some time with my father in law. He and Wife's mom were always amazing to me, in every way possible. (I still say to this day I never technically lived with them after Uno was born, but I can only say that because I didn't have mail delivered there...I did have my own room though.) It was great to talk about God with them and get a glimpse into their lives and relationships with Jesus. It's such an inspiration to me to see others living out the life God has put before them.

Then last week we had Wife's brother Andy come stay with us for a week or so with his wife Maureen and daughter Ashley. It was the first time I got to sit with them as a Christian and listen with an open heart, their views and thoughts and share my thoughts and views of Jesus and our lives here on earth. We got to share how God is working in our lives, prayed together and just hung out for the week. There was a lot of sore arms and necks from playing games on the Wii :)

I realized a few things from these visits. First, God is amazing and so in control of everything everywhere. Hearing stories about my father in law being talked to by God in the middle of the night and working on new ministry ideas. While doing that, God is pushing Andy to start his new life at a new church and giving him the peace he needs to make that transition. At the same time He is working on Wife and I with the adoption and patience. From Tennessee to Massachusetts to Texas, God is right there in control of it all. And that isn't even beginning to think about all the people all over the world God is with. Psalm 121 teaches us that God does not slumber nor sleep...think about the enormity of that.

Second I learned that God has really worked in me the last year or so. Biblical knowledge I didn't think I was retaining is actually in there. God has really opened my eyes to how He expects me to live and raise my family. I was so afraid I was going to be "different" when the family was in town, but I feel like I am really building a foundation on solid rock and not sinking sand. I don't know if we will ever be called to move back home or anywhere outside of where we are now. What I do know is, if it ever happens, God plan for us being here is working and we are so much stronger in Him. I believe He moved us down here, to remove us from all that kept us from Him. I can't wait to see how He uses us as we continue to grow.

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Adoption Update: If you haven't been reading Wife's blog, you should be :). Seite is in the hospital and that is absolutely nerve wracking. He has been throwing up for a while now and they brought him to give him fluids and medication to try and stop it. It all sounds so basic and trivial, but in Africa it isn't. Too many babies, children and adults die of dehydration.

Cinco and Tres, from what we have been told are doing good. We got a new group picture and we can see Tres (fingers in mouth and all) and Tres in it and they look pretty good. Seite couldn't be found in the picture, we think we can see half of his head behind someone.

We are getting closer to traveling. Our paper work is moving along and passports are in. We are now just waiting for the "OK" to travel. I'm taking one my friends from the Liberia mission trip with me. He's going to help out with the 3 little ones. He's an amazing young man and I feel honored to be going with him.

I think that's all I have for now. Stupidly long post today, sorry. :) Hopefully I'll have more in the next few days.

All to His Glory

A Blessing I Didn't See...Until Now

Ever have a blessing stare you in the face, and you thought you were seeing it, only to have God rip the scales off your eyes to expose His true beauty and grace? The following was sent to me by my friend Tricia.
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Daily Devotional by Max Lucado

"the One who came still comes and the One who spoke still speaks"

June 18th

He chose us in Him before the foundations of the world.

Ephesians 1:4 (NKJV)

Search the faces of the Cap Haitian orphanage for Carinette...The girl with the long nose and bushy hair and a handful of photos...The photos bear the images of her future family. She's been adopted.

Her adoptive parents are friends of mine. They brought her pictures, a teddy bear, granola bars, and cookies. Carinette shared the goodies and asked the director to guard her bear, but she keeps the pictures. They remind her of her home-to-be. Within a month, two at the most, she'll be there. She knows the day is coming....Any day now her father will appear. He came once to claim her. He'll come again to carry her home. Till then she lives with a heart headed home.

Shouldn't we all? Our Father paid us a visit too. Have we not been claimed? Adopted?... God searched you out. Before you knew you needed adopting, he'd already filed the papers and selected the wallpaper for your room.

Come Thirsty

Max Lucado

©2000 - 2007

Courtesy

Oak Hills Church

San Antonio, Texas

and NET-IMS, Inc.
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Tricia has no idea how God used her to open my eyes into deeper truths about the life God has given me. The calling he has put into Wife and my lives to adopt, and I have said it a million times, is such a picture of our relationship with Jesus, as HE has hand picked us all and adopted us into Heaven through his death on the cross.

After reading this, I cried and I felt the love of God pour over me. What an amazing blessing I have been given. Any time now, I too will appear to take Tres, Cinco and Seite home. Their earthly daddy will be there to bring them to the home their Heavenly Daddy has ordained for them here on Earth. God has entrusted the lives of these 3 children to me and Wife to raise in His name and for the purposes only He knows. It's my prayer, that Wmilt and I will raise all of our children according to His will.

It's amazing to me how God just speaks to you, right through all distractions, right when you need it most. I've been struggling with having no father in my life. I have occasional email conversations with my dad, back in Massachusetts, but it isn't real. We never have had that Father/Son relationship every boy wants in life. I never knew my biological dad and my step-dad worked and had issues growing up. For whatever reason, this all has been on my heart and hurting for weeks.

I thank God for the very fact that even thought I can't pick up the phone to talk to a Dad here on earth, HIS phone never goes to voice mail. As a friend of mine says, and I just love it so much, he is my Papa. I have vowed to God, that I will too will live with a "Heart Headed Home".

I thank God for God. He used my friend to speak 2 truths into my life:

1. He has entrusted me to raise His children
   
2. I am His son and He loves me.

...All other ground is sinking sand...

Life Goes On

Well we are moving on with life! Not adopting the 3 kiddos from Liberia still stings and we are still dealing with the feelings involved as a family. But, it's not holding us back. Someday we will look back and see how God used this time to further His kingdom, so for now we just rest in the fact that He is sovereign and in control. I wish it were easy to just remove my human feelings from it all, because I'm still hurt and confused and sad and mad.

I do wonder if those 3 kids going back to their parents is an answered prayer for them. I know I get so hung up on why God is doing this or that to me or my family, when I need to remember it's not all about me and my prayers. God hasn't said to us, "No more kids for you"...He's just said, "Not these 3 kids". Life is such an amazing journey.

So for now we are still attempting to buy a new house and sell our current house. If that all falls though, there will be another "what the trash" post :). We are still gearing up for the next adoption...it'll happen. I've never "known for sure" or "had that feeling" when it comes to kids and adoption, Wife has always had those feelings. I just know God has made me 100% sure we will adopt again. Maybe it won't be 3 more, may not be as soon as we would have hoped for and it may or may not be a baby. Who knows other than God!

Other News:
Please pray for my sister in law, Maureen and her family. She just lost her Mom to cancer and now is going in to have some lumps removed and tested.


And Lastly I ask that while you are praying, to keep all the kids of the world in your prayers. Adoption has really opened my eyes and heart to the fact that so many children are in need and alone.

God is Good my friends....He is Good.

Testimony - A New Life

Wife and I move alot. We are currently in our 4th house in 6 years. In November of 2003 we moved to Oxford Massachusetts and started going to CrossPoint church. I was so uncomfortable looking for a new church. And when I say I was uncomfortable looking for a new church, I mean I was uncomfortable with Wife looking for a new church. I took no interest in finding one. As much as god was starting to stir in me, I was ready to drop this whole "church" thing and not go anymore. BUT, low and behold she found a church similar to CrossWay in our last town. So we went, some of us more begrudgingly then others.

This was the first taste of God showing is humor and power. He moved us from a place I was comfortable being one of the faces in the crowd, to Touchy/Feely Central. The pastor there, Jeff...he freaked me out to no end. He's a hyper, huggy, jumping up and down, outwardly a Jesus Freak. Here I am, just barely getting comfortable with the idea of church, and now this guy would tell me he loves me, hug me, ask about my family and work. In a word - "Nut Job". (ok that's 2 words, but you get the point). I was ready to quit but once again, Uno and now Dos kept me going. I never want to disappoint my kids and wife. I have many times, probably will a few more times, but I knew I wouldn't have been a disappointment to them if I kept going, even if my heart wasn't fully in it.

Jeff turned out to be one of the key reasons I accepted Jesus. All that freaked out nonsense turned into a real deep respect. I still never showed I was into all the stuff the church was doing, but every Sunday we would be there and I would be soaking it all in. We stayed at that church for just about 2 years until we moved (again). I had accepted a job in Mayberry and we were moving out of New England for the first time.

About that job in Marberry: A Divine Move by God. Wife and I couldn't afford the bills and cost of living where we were. In September or October of 2004, I started to look for a new job. I wanted to work with one software so that's all I did my job searches on. Fast forward to March of 05, with no real leads on a job. I gave in and did 1 search for the software I did not want to work with anymore, applied to 2 of the jobs I found. A week later Wife and I are on the plane to Mayberry to interview for the job I eventually took.

As we prepared to move to Mayberry, we were cleaning out our house for the move. I brought a bunch of donation items over to the church and I had a short, but life changing talk with Jeff. I apologized to him for never being the religious type and for always being so quiet and non responsive to him and the church. He talked to me for a little while and told me, and these words will stay with me forever, “It’s not how religious you are, it’s how your relationship with Him is”. (to many, this may be the most "whatever" statement, or full of so much common sense, but for me then and even now, it was like someone took the blindfold off.

Those words stuck with me as I drove by myself to Mayberry, to start my new job. Wife and the kids would meet me down there a few weeks later. That 4 day drive down from Massachusetts to Texas ended up being me and God having a 4 day conversation. I gave my life to Jesus on that trip. Each night in whatever hotel I was staying in, I would be reading something from the bible, trying to figure out what I just accepted. I'd end up thinking about how real Ron was. I'd think about the passion Jeff portrayed. I'd think about how Andy and Wife changed, but didn't change (if that makes sense). I'd pray about Jesus up on that cross. It was an amazing 4 days. I want to say it was totally quiet and solemn, but I had Metallica and Korn playing in the background. :) It's was and still is a life long process!

Life didn’t change too dramatically for me right away. I was more comfortable going to church. I actually looked forward to finding a church with Wife , instead of her finding it and I just tag along. In the 2 years or so that I've been focusing on Jesus, Wife and my lives have changes so much. We've adopted 2 little girls. I've cleaned out my closet with my wife and God saved a marriage. I've been on a few mission trips. We are adopting again :).

Those are all nice and fine...but the most important thing I see that has happened is Wife and I are trying to make decisions for God and not for us. We focus on God and our family. Wife pretty much always has focused on the family...I was so focused on me. God has really moved me to clean up my act. And while I'm still a sinner (aren't we all)...my eyes are focused up and not around.

--GOD'S AWESOMENESS DURING THESE TIMES--

Did you read that I spent 4 days talking to him :) How amazing is that? God picked me and my family up from Massachusetts and all the distractions that were pulling us away from Him (or in my case, the distractions keeping me from Him) and He plopped us down in the middle of nowhere. Literally...We are about 5 hours away from any major cities. But He knew, and we understand that this is what was needed.

I pray that this story will inspire someone who isn't in a relationship with Jesus to see: If God can save a sorry, selfish, self serving person like me, He more than wants to have that intimate 1 on 1 relationship with you. And for those who have fallen away...No matter what you may have done, not done, how quiet it may be or how noisy it seems...He's still there and he's waiting for you to come back home.

My last post about my testimony will be directly related to missions and adoption.

God is Good!

Testimony - Meeting Wife

After my parents divorced, my mother, brother, sister and I lived in that same house for a few years. My mother had started to date other guys and at various times they lived with us. Pretty awkward, having to answer to some guy who didn't know me from any other kid. It was at this time that my mother started to drink. She never really got into the drinking business, at least that I knew of, when my parents were married.

He boyfriends were awful influences on her. And who knows what kind of influence she had on them. After a year or so of dating and drinking and not working, our house was being foreclosed on. She and her boyfriend had started to renovate the house, and the logical place to start was the bathroom, naturally pulling up the floors. I was about a 1/2 year away from graduating high school. So being the mature mom she was, she allowed me to stay living in the house, while she and my siblings moved in with her boyfriend. For about 6 months or so, I lived in an abandoned house with no electricity, no hot water and a dirt floor in the bathroom.

After I graduated high school, I moved in with my grandmother for a few months and then with a friend. I eventually got a job working security and got an apartment with 2 of my best friends. This is the time that I met the most beautiful girl in the world, who would one day become my wife.

God changed my life forever on June 17th, 1995. My buddy and I were out "cruising for chicks" and we were following this car with 2 girls in it. They wouldn't stop to talk to us. This went on for a good 15 minutes or so. We didn't realize that there was a car with 2 girls following US around. Once we noticed that, we aborted our mission and pulled over. It was GO time...time put on some sweet moves on these 2 lovely ladies.

I didn't say a word when I got out of the car to talk :) My buddy did all the talking and as much as I love him to pieces, they weren't impressed. The girls took our numbers down and wrote "dorks" next to them. But, for whatever reason, Wife called me (actually paged me...love the 90's). Lets remember I was the fat smelly kid in high school...just coming into my own as a young man. I hadn't had too many girlfriends in my life. And holy smokes, this amazingly beautiful girl, who I didn't say a word too, called me. If that doesn't show God is watching out for us all, I don't know what will!!!!

We went on our first date on June 22nd and were officially dating on June 25th. We spent everyday together and really have ever since. And I mean that literally, everyday. People thought it wasn't right that an almost 17 year old and almost 19 year old should spend so much time together, but it just felt right and natural. She was the first person who just loved me for me. It was an amazing feeling (and still is.)

She helped me through so much emotional baggage, pushing me and guiding me through counselling. She persevered through my anger issues, control issues, my hatred towards anyone not named Wife and many other things that I brought to the table. She'll tell you it wasn't easy. It didn't help that neither of us were really seeking the Lord at those times.

--GOD'S AWESOMENESS DURING THESE TIMES--
While my mother was dating and drinking, she'd "let" me take her car out on the weekends, when I didn't even have my license. Crazy! I think about how many times I should have been pulled over or maybe gotten into accidents, yet none of that happened. God watched over me and made sure I didn't get into too much trouble.

God is so amazing and good. The 1 blessing I thank God for more than any other (besides His dying on the cross) is the blessing of Wife. He brought to me the absolute PERFECT person for me for that time in my life. I'd like to think that for that time in Wife's life, I brought something to the table as well, but in reality it was mostly about my issues. Most girls would have had said thanks, but no thanks. Most girls would have dated me for a summer and moved on when school started back up. But not Wife, she had the right temperament, heart, dreams, desires, loving tenderness to put up with and, in Christian terms, "walk with me". I think about where I'd be had I met anyone else...and I always think I'd be drinking, smoking, drugging...doing who knows what for work.

(and for the record...I have tears in my eyes writing this...Thank you so much Lord!!!!....and if you are reading this: Thank You Wife...you will never know how you saved my life and help mold me into the person I am now. No words can ever express how lost I'd be without you.)

More later....

God is Good!

If I Had Only Know Then...

*Adoption Update - We are closer to having Maggy, JD and Isaac home. The social worker met up with their parents in Liberia and verified that they understand what adoption means and that they wanted to go through with having their children adoption. That is a huge relief. We are paper or 2 away from having all the paperwork complete. After that we need to wait for clearance from both governments. It's getting closer though! I'll keep you all up to date as things happen.

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So I am in total awe. I'm in Dallas for some work related training and I am out here with a coworker who is a great guy. I've been getting to know him more as we begin to work together (I'm switching job roles at work, same work, different software). He and I got to talking at dinner last night, and my whole life story/testimony came out. It wasn't an intentional "time to preach" conversation. It just was a part of the conversation...a natural thing for me to talk about with him as we shared parts of our growing up lives with each other.

I'm in awe because, when I was growing up, if I had known then what I know now, it would have made it more bearable to live back then. God has been so AMAZING to me, even when I wasn't thinking about Him, living for Him, caring about Him. I'm humbled to tears when I think about it. He has watched over me, picked me up, moved me out of harms way, allowed me to make mistakes and He has loved me for my entire life, even when I wasn't loving Him.

I've been praying about this, and I feel like it's the right thing to do. Over the next few days, I'm going to write out my testimony on here. I don't know why I feel like I need to, but I feel like it's the right thing to do. Many of you know the story of how God has worked in my life, some don't. It's my prayer that, as you read it, you will think about all God has done in your life and give Him all the thanks, praise and glory.

I pray God's blessing on all who stop by and keep up with the the happenings in my and my families life.

God is Good!

Lucky Number 7

7...what a number. 1 more than 6, 1 less than 8. So good a number that Boston Bruins great Ray Bourque wore 2 of them on his hockey jersey (77). Seven...so good that it's the "luckiest" number of them all. There are 7 days in a week and 7 dwarfs who help snow white. Charles Dickens was born on Feb 7th (1812). Matches were first sold on April 7th (1827 in England). Billy Graham was born on Nov 7 (1918). 7...what a great number.

I got to thinking about all the books in the Bible that have a 7th chapter. (thank you Jon for the idea) In each of them a command or vital life teaching is taught. I've listed some of them below. God commands, We listen. That's what life is right? I'm sure you wondering why I am going on and on about the number 7? Well it is 2007. And what a better way to celebrate the "lucky" number 7...then by having 7 children :) God willing we will indeed have that many. 2 Biological, 2 domestically adopted and 3 adopted from Liberia. Augustus' parents were tracked down and they relinquished their rights to him...as well as his 5 year old brother and 8 year old sister. Guess who will probably be coming to live with us? Yep, Augustus (2 or 3 yrs old) and his 5 year old brother and 8 year old sister.

Taking a step in obedience of the Lord is sometimes easy (Mathew 7 - don't judge others), sometimes it's hard (Judges 7 - Hey Gideon, go slay an army with only 300 men) and sometimes it so over your head and out of the realms of understanding (Genesis 7 - Yea Noah, God here and I'm thinking about drowning out everything I created, so how about you go build a boat, put your family on it and every animal, bird and crawly thing. Oh why don't you stay on there until I tell you it's clear to get off of it. Super, thanks!).

If God provides these 3 new children to us, I will categorize this blessing/command as totally over my head. That being said, if you were feeling the need to pray for something, feel free to pass up a prayer of peace and sanity over our house. I don't like asking for prayers, but this adventure we are about to embark on, it's larger than any one we have ever been on. God has put us at ease about this decision, but that doesn't mean it'll be easy or doubt won't creep in. I pray that he will continuously prepare our hearts and minds for the naysayers, the adversity, the stress, the good times, the bad times, the funny looks of strangers, the gossip, the financial obligations, the nights of tears, the nights of giggles, the dances, the games, the unity of our family.

I'll be writing more about this as the process goes along.

Psalm 7:17 (of course it's 7:7teen) - I will give thanks to the LORD because of his righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High.

God is Good!

---Some of the Chapter 7's from the Bible------

Genesis 7 - God commands Noah to build the ark
Exodus 7 - God commands Moses and Aaron to say everything He commands them. God commands Aaron to tell Pharaoh to let the Israelites out of Egypt
Numbers 7 - God commands Moses to accept offerings at the Tent of Meeting and give them to the Levites as required
Deuteronomy 7 - God gives His command to Israel for driving out the nations
Joshua 7 - God commands Joshua to remove from Israel that which is devoted to destruction
Judges 7 - God commands Gideon to defeat the midianites with 300 men
2 Samuel 7 - God promises David that his name will be made great, and God will establish a house for him.
2 Chronicles 7 - God commands Solomon to observe His commands and decrees. In return God promises to establish Solomon’s royal throne
Nehemiah 7 - God commands Nehemiah to assemble those who will return
Ecclesiastes 7 - God teaches us about wisdom
Zechariah 7 - god commands Zechariah to love, show mercy and do not think evil of each other
Matthew 7 - Jesus teaches on judging others and if you ask you shall receive, knock and the door will be opened
Luke 7 - Jesus teaches that through faith He will heal, raise the dead and bless us
John 7 - Jesus teaches that all who believe in Him, the streams of living water will flow from within him
Acts 7 - The prophet is quoted "The earth in my footstool, Has not my hand made all these things?"

What's Your Story

"If you cannot stand up and share how you came into a relationship with our Lord, then your Christianity should be questioned!"

God spoke this one truth straight to my heart one night as we were in Romania talking to our friend Doru. He has been doing God's work for almost 20 years now in the Romanian orphanages, children's homes and prisons. Doru appreciated the willingness we had as a team to share Jesus with the children, through skit, bible teaching and personal testimonies. I had been so nervous that whole trip to get up in front of a large group of people, in a foreign country, to share "my" story of salvation. (is it really my story...or just another chapter in the book of Life Jesus has already written?). I prayed over that statement Doru made and it put my heart at ease, knowing it's part of my job as a Christian to share Jesus with the world. For me, a HUGE part of that is my life and story of salvation.

I still get a little shaky inside when asked to share my testimony with people. But I also look forward to sharing my story with anyone who wants to hear it. God used so many different things in my life to bring me to Him. Who am I to judge how moving my little story is or how big of an impactful it can make? He will use my story as needed. He will use your story as well.

We watched "How I Met Your Mother" last night. It's a typical show of the world, about boozing it up, sexing it up and just living for "me". (see "crier" post). Last nights episode was all about each character telling their stories. These stories were about when they lost their virginity. They were so eager and willing to share their stories of teenage, premarital sex. Am I one to judge on that subject? I don't think so. It just struck my so ironic that the world, the world that Christians are to be the salt and light to, is so willing to talk about THEIR feelings, THEIR experiences, THEIR ambitions.

How willing are we to share how God has changed our lives? Do we find it easy to talk about OUR feelings, OUR experiences, OUR ambitions which the Lord has blessed us, transformed us and guides us with?

Something that is so easily overlooked: The great Paul, writer of all those little books at the end of the bible, He was a Christian killer. He was hand picked and transformed by Jesus, just like we are and Saul took HIS testimony and used that to spread the Word of God, just like we are to do.
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So...for the record...I never intended this Blog space to be all preachy and whatever. These are the thoughts that have been coming to mind lately. I will at some point get some more humor on here or sports or something...I think :)

God is Good!

Video of Our New Daughters

Galatians 4:4-5 - But when the fullness of the time came, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, burn under the Law, so that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.

I've talked about my thoughts about adoption and how it is a living picture of our relationship with God, through the sacrifice of Jesus. I found the above bit of scripture while having some quiet time this week. These few verses again, solidified in me, that we have nothing if Jesus did not come and die for our sins. We are adopted into His kingdom through the sacrifice He made for us.

We have been thinking about adoption, again. Anyone who knows me, knows I drop my head, I roll my eyes, I groan and I sigh whenever Wife talks about adoption. But I can't deny the fact that, through Wife's heart for children and her desire to have a large family, God has opened my heart to more kids. I am beyond amazed by how God can change a mans heart, but I can attest he has changed mine.

That being said, we'll be updating the home study, filing the paper work and praying over babies and situations. I have absolutely no idea how in the world we will pay for it, find room for him or her, have room in our vehicle to transport the family. I just know it feels right and if adopting is meant to be, Our savior will figure all that out and let me know about it when the time is right. To me it sounds like such a christian cliche, but I feel like we are taking a huge leap of faith. All I know is He is telling my heart, don't let him or her spend another night alone.

He's opened my eyes to the happiness a family brings to all of it's members. He's also shown me the loneliness and sadness of being alone. He's shown me this in my personal life, but more so through my time at Recas Orphanage in Romania and the Greater Love Children's Home in Liberia. God has blessed me with decent money, shelter, an amazing wife and family, eternal salvation and a fire to spread his word and love to all who will listen. How can I turn my back on a little one, when I have the means to open my heart to him or her.

None of this sounds like anything I have ever said. :) And no, I'm not drunk.
God is Good!

Shut Your Crier

Shut Your Crier. That's what I say to my kids when they are in one of those nonstop crying fits. Usually they are crying about something silly or something that happened hours ago. Parents know, kids will cry about some of the most silly things...usually when they are tired or hungry.

Got to thinking about me...I figure everyone else is, why shouldn't I. But then I remember God commands me to focus my eyes, thoughts and actions on him. It's amazing to me how self centered we are as a human race. Look everywhere and it's about "me". Look at the top 100 songs right now...most are about how you can please me, satisfy me, help me, love me, use me, abuse me...me me me. Magazines, movies, television...it's everywhere, all about me.

It's pretty sad that I sit down to watch a football game with my son and I have to monitor the commercials. TV shows about sleeping with as many women as possible, beer ads making alcohol seem so cool, viagra and cialis, Victoria secret. Sweet Gracious...I just want to watch the game.

Even as Christians we focus on "me" when we cry out to the Lord. God help me with this, Lord bless us, Lord use me, Father open my mind. What makes us any different than the world, if our faith is based on what God can do for us? God wants to hear our desires and needs, but he also desires us to shout out to him our praises and worship.

He promises to provide all we need. He who provides seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. (2nd Corinthians 9:10). Lets rest in the fact the God is our provider...Lets stop focusing on us and start focusing on Him.

None of this is said to remove the fact that God tells us to bring everything to him in prayer. I just wonder how much that we bring to Him, is brought as a heartfelt cry to Him and how much is asked as if he were our magic eight ball.

A Birth, A Death, A Resurrection. That's all that needs to be said. How selfish am I for asking for more than that?
"Shut your crier"...Yes lord, I will.

New Years Eve - Resolutions

Jeez yea right, I don't make resolutions. When people ask I tell them I'm going to quit smoking or quit drinking. See that's the funny part, I don't do either. Man I'm a laugh riot. For 2007 I am going to make some goals, but I will just go with the flow of the life God provides. My goals for my life (not just this year):

1. To continue to grow in my relationship with Jesus


2. Lead, protect and provide for my family


3. Bring the weight down a bit


4. Spread the love, humor and word of our Lord


5. Continue to live as pure a life as a human can. Jesus is the only way I will have the strength to live the life HE calls me to live.

Another note: If you haven't seen Hotel Rwanda, go rent it. I will never understand the way humans think and live. Yet history proves to us, the we humans cannot do it the right way without a deep and true relationship with our God. Adolph Hitler, Slobodan Milošević, Nicolae Ceauşescu, Saddam Hussein, the Rwandan Genocide. And these are just the famous ones.

One of my closest friends, who is a police officer back home in Massachusetts, and has seen the effects of perverts attacks on children, has asked me a few times "How does your God allow these things to happen". I think of this question whenever I see a movie like Hotel Rwanda or documentaries on most African countries, or hear Pastor Eugen from Romania talk about the days of communism. How does our Lord allow these crazy acts of violence and inhumanity happen.

My only reply can be, until God opens my eyes to a better answer: That Matthew 22 teaches us of the Great Commandment. Matthew 22:37-40 says "'37Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' 40All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

If these people had a true, deep and loving relationship with Jesus, then the convictions they would have in their lives would NOT be focused on their thoughts and feelings and desires, but rather Gods. Jesus Christ does NOT teach to love based on race or sex or social status. Jesus teaches us to love HIM First and Foremost, then love everyone else as you love yourself. Not once does he teach genocide, sexual abuse, murder, theft, torture.

Long description for me to say to those who question God's authority: If everyone lived their life for God, these atrocities may not have happened. But remember from every grossness comes beauty. That is God's responds to free will. HE lets us make decisions, but brings out his Glory from the decisions we make without his command.

Long post this morning...sorry :) Please, Please, Please be safe tonight. Designated Drivers aren't just a silly commercial, they are life savers, so use them....Please.

Happy New Year!

Christmas - Praises to God

This is a Christmas light show that we saw when in Brussels.

Christmas is in 3 short days. It's taken me a little bit to get back into the swing of things, but I'm in the spirit now. The last few nights we have been working on Praises to God with the kids during our devotions time. I thought I'd just write out the things I praise Jesus for in my life.

I praise God for:

• Wife: the most incredible woman I have ever met. God molded the perfect person for me to grow old with and without her I'd be a lost soul.
• Uno, Dos, Quatro and Seis: 4 precious kids who are beautiful, funny, creative, dedicated, devoted and the most well behaved children a parent could ask for. My life is rich each night I come home and am greeted by 4 huge hugs.
• Family and friends: Growing up the chubby smelly kid, I could never have imagined being as loved as I am. My family, Wife's family, our friends in New England and in Texas...I'm truly blessed by our friendship and our times together.
• The opportunity to see new parts of the world this year: God has opened my eyes to see how reliant we all are on Him. Regardless of our economical situations, we all need and desire a relationship with God.
• The gift of eternal life: This gift we all have received through the birth, crucifixion and reserection of our Lord Jesus Christ. John 3:16&17 says: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him."

I pray for all of you and your families. Have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS and may you all have a blessed and properous New Year!!

Family Officially Larger!!

Well yesterday (Dec 18th) we officially adopted the girls. We are now a family of 6! What a relief to no longer have to worry about birth parents or social workers coming around. Of course this also means 2 more college tuitions to save for...doh! :) And now the search begins for a brother or 2 for Dos and the girls. Although Dos did tell us he felt so sad for the orphans of the world, cried about it, talked about how he wants to help so bad and how sad it is, yet when we asked if he would share his room with an orphan if one were to come live with us, he said with a straight face...there isn't enough room in here. Gotta love being 6.

Anyone praying over and contemplating adoption, I will say this: It took me forever to accept adoption as a way to increase our family. The fear of not being able to love the adopted children, the thought of being able to afford it, questioning my own parenting skills with someone "elses" child...(all which turned out to be a bunch of hooey!) In adoption you not only give kids a home and family, you are living out a true representation of our relationship with Jesus Christ.

Ephesians 1:3-6
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved.

When you take a child into your home to raise, love, provide for and call yours forever....this is exactly what Jesus has done for everyone of us. He loves us, He provides for us and He calls us HIS forever...and this was all done because God CHOSE to.

God is Good!